Good Decisions

Making consistent good decisions is hard, but I seem to be pretty good at it. I’ve been geared with some sort of inner mechanism that makes me feel rather guilty when I don’t. For the last couple of months, it has been thrown completely out of whack, because I haven’t known what I wanted. That’s the battle. Knowing in which direction to move, to work towards. Now, I still don’t know which direction is better, (those of you that know me know the two choices I’m talking about) but I’ve realised a few things. 

The most important thing I’ve realised about myself is that when it comes to matters of the heart, I make decisions with my heart, not my head. I’ve noticed that, in this modern day and age, with the world seeming smaller, and the internet creating new opportunities for simulations of relationships, making brave and definite decisions with one’s heart is happening less. Maybe it’s not, maybe it is, but in my experience, it is (happening less). People are forced to consider so many different variables concerning relationships with people, because they are presented with them. It’s now no longer merely possible to meet someone from the other side of the world, it’s probable, and how we react to the options, consequences, and hypotheticals that these people create is as varied as the people that cause these choices and conflicts. I’m proud that I will always go with my heart first, and let my smart mind figure out how to make it work.I had an argument with a friend once, partly in jest, because she insisted that Forrest Gump was “ambitious” in his undying love for Jenny. My contention was that he was not ambitious for two reasons, firstly because he had no choice: he was following his nature, and secondly: that he didn’t expect anything in return, he had no specific ambition, but rather simply followed his heart. Since the argument, or perhaps “light-hearted disagreement” would be more accurate, this friend has in fact reflected her position in the discussion in some of her choices regarding her own life, which I suppose is no surprise. We all have to follow our nature to be happiest, and I’m doing no different. I believe I’m only going to live once, and I don’t want to regret anything. I’ve realised that I’ll regret not following my heart, more than I’ll regret being sad if things don’t work out. 

I’ve been really enjoying my garden, trying to foster a love for my practise and music, and loving my friends and family. Perhaps, with the help of all these things, I can support my nature through the hard times. It’s been working on and off so far. 

- Jon

Advertisement