Shit’s going down in ye olde Melbourne town

Hey dudes,

Great news. Today i played through my pieces for my rectial, and for the first time, i pwned! Yay! So, i know you’ve been GAGGING to hear that. My little musical world is headed for glory. On the 29th of October (probably), me and Sonika Myake on keys will be carving it up! Yeah! Shit Yeah! I’ll put out a proper poster sort of thing on this blog and everything so as you can experience the beauty. For now, though, this writing will do.

• Currently Listening To: Oscar Peterson. He is one hellava MF.

Now to Bennet’s as promised. It looked a little like this.

Yeah, the band was awesome. I really wish one could attach audio to blogs, so then i could let you guys bask in the amazing sounds. The band was really different. Essentially a bigband, there would be no friggin charlestoning or lindy-hopping to this stuff. Unless you modify it to fit in seven, or what ever. But, it wasn’t just out there for the sake of it, nor was it too out there, in that arrogant and selfish way. They were just different. Effortlessly different. The trumpeters were awesome, the sax players were pretty cool. The bones were solid AS. Acutally to be honest everyone in the band was awesome, which really lifted the standard of the band, i felt. Heres a little write-up about the first big band.

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nd so in the dark of night the Lord awoke Noah, and spoke to him. “Noah, awake and heed my words!” And Noah, being sore afraid and disoriented, did cry out, “Who goeth there?” And the Lord did smite him upside the head, saying, “It is the Lord of all things, dummy!” And Noah did tremble, saying, “Lord, why hath thou wakened me?” And the Lord did say, “Noah, build me a Gigging BigBand.”

And Noah did say, “Command me, Lord.”

And the Lord did say, “First, thou must find me a Leader .” And Noah replied, “But Lord, will I not be thy Leader?” And the Lord did smite him again, saying, “Fool, thou will be my Contractor. Ask not why!” And Noah did bow his head, saying, “Yes, my Lord. And what will this Leader play?” And the Lord said, “It mattereth little, whether he play or not, or whether he be proficient or not. For his job shall primarily be to talk to the Brides and their Mothers, and to deal with Clients, and to count off Tempos wrong, and to inquire as to whether Overtime will happen, and to try to segue tunes that should not be segued. If he playeth any instrument, thou must always have another player of that instrument on the band, just to be safe.” And Noah did say, “And what else shall this Leader do?” And the Lord replied, “It shall be his job to spread Bad Information and Confusion amongst the Sidemen, and to pit them one against the other, and to delay all payments. “Further shall it be his job, until we can afford a Sound man, to create Feedback, and to invent new Equalization Curves therefore.”

And Noah did shake his head in wonder, saying, “Lord, thy ways are Strange and Mysterious. What more shall I do?”

And the Lord said, “Next, find me a Rhythm Section . “First, find me a Drummer . And Three Things above all must this Drummer possess.” And Noah did ask, “What are these Three Things? Double Bass Drums? An Electronic Kit? Congas?” And the Lord did smite Noah again, saying “Second-guess me not, my servant. First, this Drummer must have slightly imperfect time, so that whenever he playeth a Fill (and he shall play many), he always emergeth at a different place, sometimes early and sometimes late, but thou may not guess which. And second, he must be Supremely Discontent, always hoping for the Big Break which will lead to him playing with Chick Corea or Madonna, so that he despiseth Jobbing. And third, he must always be convinced of his Righteousness, in all things, including Time, Volume, Tempo and Feel, so that he argueth always with the Bass Player.”

And Noah did say, “As you command, Lord. And what next?” And the Lord did say, “Thou art learning, Noah. Next shall be the Bass Player . And he shall be Bored. That is all.”

And Noah did say, “Of course. And next, my Lord?” “Next shall be the Piano Player . And he shall play as if he has twenty fingers, and he shall ply Substitute upon Substitute, until no man may name the Chord, and he will not be helpful. Furthermore, he shall always be Late. And he shall always be trying out New Gear, of which he has no knowledge.” And Noah did wonder aloud, “Lord, Great is thy Wisdom!”

“Next shall be the Guitar Player . And he shall be a Rock Guitar Player. And he shall be Loud, and he shall sing ‘Old Time Rock n’ Roll’. Also shall he know not The Page, and so shall rely upon his Ears, which have been damaged by exposure to High Sound Pressure Levels. For the Guitarists who Read shall already be playing Shows, and will be making the Big Shekels. “And his tux shall be the Rattiest.” And Noah did say, “It shall be done.”

And the Lord did say, “Next thou shall need Horns. “First shall be the Saxophones . And they shall be Beboppers. And they shall play their Bird Quotes in every song, yea, even the Celine Dion ballad. They shall strive to obtain the maximum NPS (notes per second). And they shall Get High on every break, and make the Long Faces all night long, but especially when ‘In The Mood’ is called.

“Next shall be the Trumpeters . And they shall every one attempt to take everything Up an Octave, and fail frequently. And of Changes they shall know nothing. “

And finally shall be the Trombone Player . And many jokes will be made about him, for he will have a Pager, as well as a Day Job, and he will be the first to be Cut from the Band.” And Noah, taking many notes, did say, “Mighty is the Lord!”

“Next shall be the String Players . Find me Three Women, and attach Pickups to their Violins that are more ancient even than Myself, so that their instruments screecheth and causeth great pain. “And their job shall be to dress in Evening Gowns, and to Fake Parts on all Ballads, and to occasionally Stroll, and to complain about the Volume, and the Intonation, and to impede the Swing.” And Noah did say, “What else can be left, Lord?”

And the Lord did say, “Finally, find me the Singers . “And they shall be Three, one a Male, and two Females. “And the Male shall be a Strutting Peacock, with the out of style Hair, and he shall never have to wear The Tuxedo, and also shall he play The Harmonica. “And of the Females, one shall be Black and one shall be White. And the Black one shall ALWAYS sing the Aretha songs, and the Disco. “And the White one shall ALWAYS sing the Power Ballads, and the Country Songs. “But both shall share the Motown Medley, and shall sing Backup for the Male, and forget the Words, and be Late, and know nothing of Keys or Form. And they shall leave every gig immediately, having never touched a piece of Equipment. “And they shall be paid many more shekels than the Sidemen. Ask not why.”

And Noah did say, “As Thou sayest, my Lord.” And the Lord did command him, “Search high and low for these, as not every musician can fulfill these requirements. And though we have No Work yet, a Commitment must be secured from All. And while you’re at it, start looking for Subs.” And Noah did say, “Lord, thy will be done.” And it was.

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I thought that quite funny, and, more often than not, highly accurate. Sorry its a bit long, but i think most of my readers will stick that out. If not, you illiterate fools that can’t can always come back and have another try.

Anyway, trying to describe the goings-on at this Bennet’s gig would be a bit of a waste of time, but let me say it was creative, refeshing and fun. Um, that’s probably enough for tonight, unless i get a flash of inspiration. Ok, bye!

XXX

WAIT!!!!!!!!! HA! I knew i had something to blog about!

“An Inconvenient Truth. The Scariest Movie You’ll Ever See”

I saw this cool movie by Al Gore, well at least, featuring him. It’s all about the fragility of Earth and how we take everything for granted. Really, he just lays the facts before us in an intersting way, with also a little bit of background information on himself so we can see where he’s coming from. It’s really interesting. Not what i’d buy, i probably wont even see it again, but definately see it once. You’ll feel so enlightened. It’s called “An Inconvinient Truth”. Basically, it deals with global warming and all the consequences, and also dispells any notions of trickery or falsehood in his claims. Also, it’s quite embarrasing when he mentions Australia is the only other (apart from US) nation of power that is not involved in Kyoto. Anyway, just see it. This review hasn’t been too indepth, but i’m about to start work on my GIF file up there, which you have already seen. A huge shout-0ut to Robin for his help, tutorage, guidance and wisdom in the ways of GIFdom. Cheers.

OK, That’ll do.

XXX

I leave you know with a picture of Karl Pilkington’s perfectly round, Orange shaped, bald, mank head.

Ok it took me ages to do that gif up there. but, it was my first. And of course, thanks to my good friend Robin, i love ya matey. I rang him three times rather confused, and he patiently assisted. Yay.

See yas.